9 – Reacting to Communication Problems

Once a communication breakdown has been perceived, the people involved in the interchange will react to it in some way.  Some reactions are productive, i.e., they help to resolve the problem. Other reactions are unproductive, i.e., they fail to resolve the problem and often make the situation worse. People’s reactions occur in several different ways; they react physically, cognitively,emotionally, behaviorally and socially.

The following are some frequently reported reactions that, unfortunately, often make the situation worse.

Physical Reactions to Communication Problems: Preparation to freeze, fight, flee or faint

• Changes in heart rhythm/rate
• Shallow, rapid breathing
• Hormonal activation—increased adrenalin, norepinepherine, cortisol
• Muscle tension/pain, headaches
• Fatigue
• Blood shunting—resulting in digestive, sexual problems

Emotional Reactions to Communication Problems

• Anger
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Embarrassment
• Frustration
• Guilt
• Shame

Cognitive Reactions to Communication Problems

• Can’t think straight or confused
• Hard to focus attention
• Easily distracted
• Mind goes blank
• Decreased self esteem
• Reduced risk-taking

Behavioral Reactions to Communication Problems

• Bluffing—pretending to understand
• Withdrawing—avoiding/escaping
• Blaming, e.g., “You mumble.”
• Demanding, e.g., “You’d better…”
• Dominating conversations
• Guilt tripping, “If you really loved me, you’d….”

Social reactions to Communication Problems

• Experiencing social pain when rejected or being socially disconnected in some way
• Leaving or escaping from difficult communication situations
• Avoiding such social situations in the future